Twelve Safe Ways To Charm Hermione
by luckyoufelix
Summary: Ron uses the book Twelve Safe Ways To Charm Witches on Hermione. Will it work?


Ron woke up the morning after the battle bright and early. He felt sadness engulf him with memories of Fred. Just as he felt like he was going to yell out he sensed movement around him and sat up. Harry had awakened and was putting his glasses on his face "Mornin' Ron." Ron waved and got out of his bed. 

"So you're saying you need to find a way to impress Hermione?" Harry asked Ron as they came down stairs from the dormitories ten minutes later. Ron nodded "Yes because Hermione thinks we're still friends after what happened during the battle." Harry shook his head "You'd think a little tonsil Quidditch would soften her up." Ron smacked Harry on the head hard and muttered "shut up". Harry went to the couch near the fire and sat down. Ron did the same. "Why don't you use your book? You know the charming witches book," Harry suggested. Ron nodded "Yeah that's it. I'll use that. Use every chapter." Harry nodded. "I'll go get my copy so you can use it."

Down in the Great Hall after retrieving the book Harry and Ron started eating breakfast. Ron was studying the book carefully while chewing on his bacon. "First chapter says…compliment her." He kept reading.

"Good morning boys. Ron, what are you reading?" Hermione had arrived and was turning her head to try to read the title of Ron's book. "Hmm?" Ron looked up slowly and then realizing for the first time that Hermione was there jumped and dropped his book on the floor. Hermione raised an eyebrow and started her breakfast. "Your shirt looks nice," Ron blurted.

Hermione looked as confused as ever "Really? Because I've worn and washed this shirt so often that it looks gray but it's supposed to be black." Then she got up and walked away. Ron looked as if she had slapped him. "What's chapter two?" asked Harry with a huge grin on his face.

"Chapter two is humor and how to use it," Harry read out loud to Ron later in the common room. "Well it shouldn't be hard to do that. Being funny comes naturally to me," Ron said confidently. Harry nodded "Yes, but you're forgetting the rest of the title. How to use it. When you say something funny it usually hurts someone else. Remember SPEW?" Ron groaned and threw a pillow at Harry. He outstretched his hand for the book and Harry threw it to him.

A young girl came up to them and asked them if they wanted chocolates (which Ron took happily) and walked away. "It could be poison for all you know." Harry said. "She was giving it to you so I know it's not poison. Besides it's chapter three in the book so I'm alright with it." Ron started examining the chocolates. After a while Ginny and Hermione walked in and sat down. Ron hid the book as soon as he saw Hermione. "Hey you want some chocolates?" he held out the chocolates, 

"It'd be really nice if you took some. I'm trying really hard not to eat it." Hermione smiled "You seem to be using all your will power, Ron." She took the chocolates and bit one. She and Ginny sat down. "What about me? Don't I get chocolates?" Ginny snapped. "No you're my sister." Ron said as if it weren't obvious. "You act like I get paid for it." Ginny took a chocolate from the box as Hermione offered her one. I did well, Ron thought as he stared at Hermione enjoying the chocolate.

Later throughout the day Ron achieved chapters four and five (walk with her and listen to what she tells you) and was feeling good that he repeated chapter two at dinner getting a wonderful result.

While Hermione was laughing hysterically at his joke about mermaids, Hermione knocked over her drink. Harry held up six fingers and Ron slowly opened his book to chapter six. Fix her mistakes and accidents. Ron took out his wand and muttered "Terego". The liquid cleaned off the table just as Hermione stopped laughing. "Oh" she looked surprised "Thanks." Ron hoped to do chapters seven through twelve the next day.

Ron accomplished chapter seven early the next morning. The two of them were walking outside the castle discussing the battle of Hogwarts and the deaths it caused. "Oh. Ron. I feel really sorry for you about Fred. I mean you have to return to the Burrow on Saturday and-" a tear slid down Hermione's cheek. She pulled in for a hug. He hugged her back. Chapter seven hug her and comfort her, he thought. She pulled away from him and they started walking again.

She looked at him tears glistening in her eyes "Ron, I can't help but notice you've been acting weird lately." Ron slowed down. She's on to me, he thought, uh oh. "Er what do you mean?" She put her hair behind her ear and smiled. "Well it's not that normal for you to give chocolate without eating some yourself. And I don't think it's normal for you to tell a good joke." Ron scowled and muttered "thanks" not wanting to give her any ideas.

"Hello ginger," Harry approached the two of them, "Hermione." He said nodding at her. "What have you two been up to?" Ron hit Harry in the arm and mumbled something that sounded like "stuff" and walked towards the lake. Hermione walked in front of them took a book out of nowhere, sat down and started reading.

"What chapter are you on?" Harry whispered quietly to Ron. "Eight," Ron said. Harry scrunched up his face. "That's... um... give her respect. Right?" Ron nodded "I don't know I didn't memorize the book like you."

"Hey there was no book to read while we were searching for horcruxes." Harry sat down next to Hermione and Ron plopped down next to him. "So, Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare, eh? How's it going? Are the house-elves recovering well from the battle?" He's just grabbing at straws, Harry thought. But Hermione looked at Ron as if he was an angel. "Yes they're doing pretty well actually. They've gotten a sense of confidence because of how the participated in the battle. I'm still trying to convince them to let me free them but they won't let me. And Kreacher has been really good ..."

Hermione told them all about her achievement with the house-elves. Harry only half-listened and he was trying to figure out if Ron was actually listening to her or just staring at her.

About two hours later when they were walking back to the castle Hermione tried to find out why Ron was acting weird, again. "You know I still want know why you're acting strange," she said. On the other side of Hermione, Harry's eyes widened in horror.

Ron tried to change the subject, "Nice weather we're having today?" Hermione shook her head "I asked you a question. Besides it looks like it's going to rain." She pointed to the sky. The clouds were gathering.

Suddenly, they ran in to Luna who was carrying a weird colored jar containing what looked like gnats. "Luna, are those gnats?" Ron asked hoping Hermione would forget what they were talking about. Luna shook her head "They're not gnats, Ron. They're Wrackspurts."

"They float through your ears and make your brain go fuzzy," Harry interrupted Luna absently. Luna smiled, "Yes. Daddy sent me this special jar full of them so I could help him label the body parts of the Wrackspurts. He's writing an article about it in the Quibbler you see." She examined the jar carefully before walking away.

"You know Luna's so unpredictable you should expect her to have a Crumple Horned Snorkack in a jar tomorrow," Ron muttered. "See I told you. You said the name of her made up creature right. What are you up to?" Hermione demanded.

"I'm going to go find Ginny," Harry started. But Hermione turned on him "NO YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!" she bellowed. "RON, ANSWER ME!" she said turning back to him "LOOK YOU HAVE BEEN CONFUSING ME LATELY! I DON'T GET YOU WHY ARE YOU MESSING WITH ME?" Hermione continued yelling.

Ron racked his brain for something helpful that he remembered from the book. Chapters nine tell her how you feel. Nope. Chapter ten show her you care. Not going to work. Chapter eleven ask her out on a date. Not helpful. Chapter twelve kiss her. Bloody hell, Ron thought. No way was he going to kiss her. Not like this anyway. He looked at her, she was still yelling. She looked pretty though. Her hair was tied back but a strand had come on her face. Her brown eyes seemed to be twinkling even though she was angry. All or nothing Ron thought.

"... IF YOU EVEN THINK THIS IS FUNNY THEN-" Ron leaned in and kissed her. She slowly put her arms around him. As he was kissing her Ron could have sworn he'd heard Harry say "always skip to chapter twelve". They broke apart and Hermione seemed to understand what Ron had been doing all along.

"Let's go," Hermione said and walked ahead. But Ron didn't move. He saw Ginny stomp past Harry angrily for an unknown reason and Harry stare at her with a look of longing. Ron ran over to Harry and whispered "I think your going to need that book mate," he grinned and left to catch up to Hermione.

**A/N: So, I know compared to my other fanfics the quality of this one isn't that good but, this was one of the first ever fanfics that I'd ever written and I decided to post it because well (Ron and Hermione) it was pretty good. I hope you enjoyed it. REVIEW! REVIEW!**


End file.
